Recent LMVOS

  • The Bachelor Recap – Black box = definitely a penis hider

    The Bachelor Recap – Black box = definitely a penis hider

    Jimmy Kimmel needs to be there every week. Those are the questions I would ask if I got to be there too… wait – I need to be there every week! How fun would that be?   Kimmel tells the ladies he’s going to help Chris by making love to each of them. I mean, was I meant to marry Jimmy Kimmel? He then introduces the “amazing” jar – you have to put $1 into it every time you say […]

    Continue reading »

  • The Bachelor Recap – I need to know what’s under that black box

    The Bachelor Recap – I need to know what’s under that black box

    This is barely a reality show at this point. No chance that 95% of these chicks are for real, right? Let’s go… Night one ends and even these chicks are over it. Yoga Kimberly wasn’t given a rose but begs to come back (always sexy). Oddly, Chris gives in and lets her stay. Ashley I. says, “It showed us Chris isn’t going to play by the standard rules.” She then tacks on, “Which might MEAN, maybe he’ll poop on me […]

    Continue reading »

  • The Bachelor Recap – “I went to school for sports broadcast news but now I sell cadaver tissue”

    The Bachelor Recap – “I went to school for sports broadcast news but now I sell cadaver tissue”

    Three hours is offensive. I was literally angry last night. How dare you, Bachelor Producers, for assuming I would spend three hours of my life on this garbage. I did it, don’t get me wrong, I’m not that strong, but man was I annoyed. I usually like the first episode because it’s fun to actually meet the tramps, but I was over it. Do you think I’m going to have this ornery attitude all season? Oh right, I always do. […]

    Continue reading »

  •  
  • ALEX AND JANE: EPISODE FOUR – LIONFACE.

    ALEX AND JANE: EPISODE FOUR – LIONFACE.

    Jane’s ex was a wanna-be yogi who sported a MAN BUN. Meet him (and younger Alex and Jason) in the FLASHBACK episode, LionFace. (Also cameos by Terrance Trent D’Arby and young Obama!)

    Continue reading »

  • SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE: SARAH SILVERMAN-MONOLOGUE

    SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE: SARAH SILVERMAN-MONOLOGUE

    Sarah kills it on SNL. Check out this week’s monologue here!  

    Continue reading »

  • ALEX AND JANE: EPISODE THREE – AWKWARD COFFEE DATE.

    ALEX AND JANE: EPISODE THREE – AWKWARD COFFEE DATE.

    Alex married young, had kids, & never sowed her wild oats. Jane is single, ready to settle & so damn sick of Tinder.  An improv comedy web series starring UCB and PIT performers Rachel Rosenthal, Julie Rosing and Taylor Newhall. Created by Beth Miranda Botshon and Maria Stasavage. Episode Three: Awkward Coffee Date.  Jane gets out there. (Painfully.) Alex spies on her and flirts with the hipster barista. (Cringe.)

    Continue reading »

  •  
  • CLASSIC: SHITAKE SOUP NEVER TASTED SO GOOD

    CLASSIC: SHITAKE SOUP NEVER TASTED SO GOOD

    Another gem from the Catherine Tate show. Go Janice.

    Continue reading »

  • MAMRIE HART’S YDAD: NANNY FINE’S WEDDING WINE

    MAMRIE HART’S YDAD: NANNY FINE’S WEDDING WINE

    I know Fran Drescher might be a little over the head of you younguns born in the 00’s, but I was obsessed with this bish growing up. Do yourself a favor and watch every episode of the Nanny on Nick at Nite right the fuck now. DON’T FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE, YA DRUNKS! Follow me here: http://mamrie.tumblr.com http://www.twitter.com/mametown

    Continue reading »

  • ALEX AND JANE: EPISODE TWO – ONLINE DATING.

    ALEX AND JANE: EPISODE TWO – ONLINE DATING.

    Alex married young, had kids, & never sowed her wild oats. Jane is single, ready to settle & so damn sick of Tinder.  An improv comedy web series starring UCB and PIT performers Rachel Rosenthal, Julie Rosing and Taylor Newhall. Created by Beth Miranda Botshon and Maria Stasavage.   Episode Two: Online Dating! Profile Schmofile. In Episode two of the new comedy web-series, Alex and Jane,  Jane educates Alex about internet dating…and whether butt chins are a dealbreaker.

    Continue reading »

  •  
  • ALEX AND JANE ON A BENCH:  SEXLIPS!

    ALEX AND JANE ON A BENCH: SEXLIPS!

    Alex and Jane like to sit on benches. And chat/fight. This week’s debate:  GLOSS OR RED? A battle in SONG.

    Continue reading »

  • EMILY HARTRIDGE PRESENTS: 10 REASONS WHY BEING FAMOUS WOULD SUCK

    EMILY HARTRIDGE PRESENTS: 10 REASONS WHY BEING FAMOUS WOULD SUCK

    Sooooo basicalllllly we should all be thankful we are NOT famous. Thank you Emily.. we feel much better about ourselves now!

    Continue reading »

  • ALEX AND JANE: EPISODE ONE – FRIDAY NIGHT!

    ALEX AND JANE: EPISODE ONE – FRIDAY NIGHT!

    Alex married young, had kids, & never sowed her wild oats. Jane is single, ready to settle & so damn sick of Tinder. An improv comedy web series starring UCB and PIT performers Rachel Rosenthal, Julie Rosing and Taylor Newhall. Created by Beth Miranda Botshon and Maria Stasavage.   Episode One: Friday Night! All The Single Ladies! (and the MILFS):  Draaaaanks or Couch? In the first episode of the new comedy web-series, Alex and Jane, things come to a head […]

    Continue reading »

  •  
  • Bachelor in Paradise – How pissed off is Neil Lane right now?

    Bachelor in Paradise – How pissed off is Neil Lane right now?

    Was there a drunken Sephora employee stationed at the Herpes pad? I mean, my god, ladies. Not only are you all wearing WAY too much makeup when you’re at the beach, but that’s too much makeup for a Vegas stage production. Ease up, holy smokes. Chris Harrison tells the remaining twelve people, six “couples” (using the term loosely), that now is the time to take a hard, honest look at your “relationships” (using the term loosely). If you don’t see […]

    Continue reading »

  • R.I.P. JOAN RIVERS

    R.I.P. JOAN RIVERS

    The world has lost an amazing woman and a one of a kind comedic genius. You will be missed.

    Continue reading »

  • Bachelor in Paradise Recap – It’s so natural in nature, you guys

    Bachelor in Paradise Recap – It’s so natural in nature, you guys

    I’m beginning to bore a bit. Next week is the finale and me thinks its time… Let’s get started.   First off, Cody needs to chill the shit out. My god, dude! I love that you’re honest and want a real relationship but you’re coming across as…a little too available. You don’t tell a chick you love her after six days together. Marcus didn’t even do that.   Marcus/Lacy Date    There is no way I’d climb down that hole. […]

    Continue reading »

  •  
  • AB FAB- THE KARDASHIAN SYNDROME

    AB FAB- THE KARDASHIAN SYNDROME

    In this hilarious bite sized bit, Patsy and Edina tell Saffy all about the Kardashian syndrome.

    Continue reading »

  • Bachelor in Paradise Recap – Skank factor raised

    Bachelor in Paradise Recap – Skank factor raised

    Remember yesterday when I said these awesome previews better live up to the hype? Yeah, so they didn’t. All that drama with ambulances, Graham running off when offered a rose and someone getting lost in the jungle? Yeah, well Graham was thirsty and Lacy had the runs. Talk about over-selling, geesh.   Lacy pukes in the middle of the rose ceremony. By “in the middle of”, I mean, she ran to a toilet and then puked in it. She’s been […]

    Continue reading »

  • Bachelor in Paradise Recap – Everyone’s eggs are in everyone’s baskets

    Bachelor in Paradise Recap – Everyone’s eggs are in everyone’s baskets

    These two nights better deliver on all this drama – these previews are bananas! Bring it on, you hopeless crazy people. Also, sorry this is so late. Busy day…and I still have to watch tonight’s show!   Robert/Sarah Date    We start the show with Robert asking Sarah out on a date, which sets Michelle off. She’s crying, pissed and oh so lonely. She’s hot and normal-ish, but she’s all, “EVERYONE HAS SOMEONE. I WANT SOMEONE!” and I don’t dig […]

    Continue reading »

  •  
  • Bachelor in Paradise Recap – Bitches Be Crazy

    Bachelor in Paradise Recap – Bitches Be Crazy

    Elise scares me. How much of this crazy is editing? I fear not enough. And what’s with all the metaphors? In the storm of reality TV, this show is my rainbow.   Despite her obsession with Dylan, within minutes, she has become obsessed with Chris. “I’m really glad I gave the rose to Chris.” Ummm, you barely did. You tried to give it to Dylan who said no, and then you gave it to Chris because he was the only […]

    Continue reading »

  • Bachelor in Paradise – Too much amazingness to choose from for this title. Wow.

    Bachelor in Paradise – Too much amazingness to choose from for this title. Wow.

    There’s actually almost TOO much to discuss. I mean, I could write for days on this episode. I have no clue where to even start. So. Much. Grossness. Mr. Putz    Crazy Michelle K. left last week but apparently she started banging Mr. Putz, a NOT smart crewmember, right before they started filming. Harrison tries to talk to Michelle about the drama and she refuses, saying she doesn’t need to talk to Chris because “he’s just the host”. I mean, […]

    Continue reading »

  • Bachelor in Paradise – Should I watch or not? I’m 80/40.

    Bachelor in Paradise – Should I watch or not? I’m 80/40.

    I bet this entire series is a set-up social experiment…for US, the viewers, to see just how shitty a show can be and still draw in millions of viewers. Like me. Because I tell ya people, I was SUCKED into this shit.   First of all, what a fucking fuck fest. My god. Second, what a T and A fest. My god. Lastly, what a showcase of somewhat-hot, stupid people. My. God.   Herpes-Dise Cast   Clare, 33, Juan Pablo’s […]

    Continue reading »

  •  
  • EMILY HARTRIDGE PRESENTS: 10 REASONS WHY…BEING A MODEL SUCKS

    EMILY HARTRIDGE PRESENTS: 10 REASONS WHY…BEING A MODEL SUCKS

    Emily and Tessa make us laugh. We thank you. XO, LMVO

    Continue reading »

  • The Bachelorette Recap – Oh Nicky. Not cool.

    The Bachelorette Recap – Oh Nicky. Not cool.

    Nick! You dick. More on that later.   Nick Meets the Dorfmans    The Dorfman family scores a free trip to the Dominican Republic. Nick gets totally dressed up to meet Andi’s family, complete with a baseball-type jersey and forgetting to brush his hair. But he wins points by bringing mom flowers and dad alcohol. To which sister replies, “What the fuck? Am I chopped liver?”   Ah yes, Andi’s dad, Hy. You can tell Andi got to him and […]

    Continue reading »

  • The Bachelorette Recap and Colon Cancer? Say What?

    The Bachelorette Recap and Colon Cancer? Say What?

    So here’s the scoop. My mom was diagnosed with colon cancer last week. Needless to say, it’s been a shitty five days. I am also now sick as a dog since I’ve been crying and not sleeping… and the fact my kids are sick too and they like to cough RIGHT in my face probably didn’t help. All of this means I’m not writing a Bachelorette recap this week. Let’s face it – this show is the same goddamn thing […]

    Continue reading »

  •